Today. I don’t even know where to start. This is probably going to be short and moderately incoherent, but I have some crazy that I need to get out. This is, after all, my blog.

I’ve been doing some social media work at an ad agency recently. My sense of self worth has bounced back to a level equal to or higher than it was before I got fired just by being there. I love what I’m doing. Every minute of it. Today, the owner called me in to discuss a permanent job opportunity. I love the work. I love the office. I love the people there. It’s a better fit than I could have ever imagined. My feet didn’t touch the ground for hours.

There was only one person that I wanted to share the news with: Katy. She’s been really busy at work lately and never has time to talk on the phone, so I’ve been trying to limit my daytime communication with her to GMail Chat. Of course, today was the one day that she wasn’t signed on all day. Finally, at about 4:00, she logged in and sent me a message, asking me what happened. I gushed the details to her as quickly as I could in case she got called away to do something else. She seemed… unaffected by the news. Very short responses and no sense of excitement. But I didn’t want to let it get me down. I thought she might be distracted with work. It’s hard to determine one’s sentiment via text alone.

When I got home, there was no mention of my news. No congratulations. No “tell me all about it.” I sensed something bad was coming. And I was right. What I viewed as an awesome opportunity to start working in the industry I so badly want to be a part of, she viewed as the financial opportunity for me to move back out. She’s not happy and doesn’t think she ever will be with me again. Nothing specific. Just… that. Our marriage is apparently over. Again. I wasn’t aware of that.

So tonight is one of the most confusing nights of my life. Every time I get excited about the new opportunity in front of me, the thought of my best friend walking out of my life is like a dagger to my heart. And whenever I start to dwell on losing Katy, a smile creeps across my lips when I remember the new job. If I don’t have some type of illness from this absolute assault on my immune system in the next few days, it’s gonna be a friggin’ miracle.

I couldn’t be happier about my new job. I actually look forward to going to work every day for the first time in my life. I just wish my best friend was going to be there to share it with me. I don’t know what else to say here.